A letter from Nov 14, 2025

Dear FutureMe, Once again, I will respond to last year's questions. How are you doing? Like actually? - I'm stressed. School started out unbearable, but its slowly getting better. I'm also in the middle of making a large decision regarding the team, but you know that . What school did you choose, and are you happy with it? - Stout. I'm happy with the school, but I don't know if I'm happy about the team. It's a very small team, lots of drinking, and the threat of being cut is very, very real. Every time I see an admissions email from UWSP or MSTC, I very seriously consider those options. Realistically though, I can't go to either of those. If I go back and live at home, I won't gain the independence of simply living alone. Did you make the xc/tf team? I really hope you made it, because that would be so amazing. - Yeah, I did. It's crazy to think that 1 year ago, I was worried about what would happen if I didn't make the team. Now, I'm worried what will happen if I stay on the team. Going back to my "hard decision," I'm thinking of leaving the team, simply because the time commitment is much more than I expected. Especially with outside of the running having to go to meetings, community engagement, etc. Are you even running anymore? - Yes. I will continue running regardless of if I stay with the team or not. If I stay, I run with them. If I leave, I run alone and race unattatched. Did you meet any new friends yet at college? - I've met some cool people, but nobody that I feel super close too. I thought I'd have that figured out at this point, but I don't. So many people on the team seem to enjoy me, but I don't enjoy very many people on the team. That brings me to another part of my consideration: my decision impacts everyone around me. Are you enjoying the "college experience." I haven't had much experience. There running, and that's about where that ends. There is no time for anything else. But also, running is all I have. If I leave, I have nobody. What would you say to you in 1 year if you're struggling with school/running/general life stuff? I'm not really in a position to give advice. I'm struggling right now. One year ago, had I known what Id be struggling with, I would have said "what ever decision you make will be right," but that in the moment it feels like every option is wrong. If I had to give future me advice, Id probably say not to worry too much. Everything that you do will be completely change or be irrelevant once a year passes. Now let me just speak about current life. Moving to college was hard. I missed my family, I knew nobody, and I hated everything in Menomonie. Now, I still miss my family but I know that I can always call them, I know people but don't necessarily jive with more than 1 or 2 people. What I'm struggling with the most is my place on the team. I started out hating it, simply because I knew nobody. I slowly began to enjoy it as I got to know people. Then, school picked up. I got more work, and team responsibilities picked up too. Having to balance 6+ hours of homework while doing practice, 2 meetings a week, Saturday team activities, Sunday team meals, it just felt like too much. Over time I got the schoolwork down, but I didn't realize how stressed out I was. Just this week, I got sick. I am currently on my fourth day not running. Going to classes without having the team responsibilities has been such a relief. I don't really feel like I'm missing anything. This has put me in a position that I am almost 100% certain that I'm leaving. Even though I will continue training hard, I won't have the stress of inflexible schedules that require me to miss classes. Now, going back to what advice I gave my future self, ultimately this decision will not matter. If I leave, I will still be friends with the people that I am close do, I'll have the flexibility that I want. I'll be able to dedicate myself more to other things like clubs and jobs, and then I get to race distances and meets that actually interest me. But then again, if I leave, I have nobody. Off of the running topic. School seems to be going okay. My lowest grade is a B. Chemistry is kinda ******* me, but that's the only bad class. I interviewed for a job as a web developer for the University Involvement Center. Other than that, I have no updates. Now I'll ask question: - Did you stay with the team? - Whatever your decision was, are you happy with it? - How are you feeling? - Are you still at Stout? - Did you get an internship? - Is school's cost still manageable? - Please tell me you found a job. Thanks for listening to me rant about my one problem for a while. From Past You