Dear FutureMe,
I broke things off with vlad today. He went to his moms, hes coming for toby tomorrow probably. Im going to sleep at my moms. stephanie came over and hung out for a bit. we drank wine ate pizza, cried laughed farted. He was so special to me. But in the quiet moments when it was just me, I started to feel alone. Used after ***, bothering him when he was on his computer. He denied me kisses bc he just didnt want to kiss me.
I got my peircing today. Nose ring left side bc i sleep on my right.
I have no ******* clue what the future will hold, but I am on my own now. I have to pick myself up by the bootstraps. I provide for me no one else. I will find me not in men but within. I will find my motivation to be the best me, the one I only find in the cabins in Big Bear.
You are my hope. I am holding out for YOU. Look around and tell me it gets better. I really need that right now.
Epilogue
3 days later
Hi kyla, belive it or not, sometimes, i miss YOU!! the whole world has just opened up to you for the first time, theres a crazy sense of...
Ni merfdeo tath. Bta teim the uyo i hktin lla. Mmedeererb hisw tboy yeb ot i to oyu ysa. Ingog a tehre saw tub, i t,i on olt gte. Wsa i it so for hrbdyt!ai ewtn fun cgmpina uor. It uiosqesa at asw teh. Is s,u teg orf peho stacrmshi ethre ehr ogod i i a eylalr rfom oyu figt aepnethsi cna tllis. Itdnd digimrnen het orf our i ielk davl fo nsakth me abt nhitgs aoplshinerit w. Godo its nwo cwihh gnthi ew!hp sti to rhitg a ni now, fetrgo si saye. Engmrbreemi hte keli esurcfoo doog i sotmnem. Uryeflos llet did yb pcik uoy, tle uoy srasptobto aelylr hte me up. Htag saw shti arhd. Pu gto veery yad u enwt wokr ot moohswe but nad. Gte htsi rfo mreo ym paygni oht chibt mi lsitl ogt ym can, ehhalt nacse,urin i i padi !own ): i ni ormo i yrtenegvih onw agintd ogubth vhea sdrteat. A tlilet to noeal eb ist hdra. Ellno,y aesrei tegs it tbu its. Og olean uyo uto. Ur ho! it ngigo vaeh ru oepihs seeapc oerm w own! vole to fnesrdi you ngoan. I of khtinngi uufrte me erbrme. Etlret sthi rgniade. Be i didtn i onwk luwod ehwer. But rmusme dogo i a hda llreya. Ysntlhoe ugenoh vreen write i. Btu, frwroad lccki i orf ur tchi a nutotb ftsa rfmo i poeh iadtsiefs liek. Yuo eb to ppahy edsveer. And hawt eelsf xoxo od doidk ot tsienl loev ur 3< gir,th u u!tg.
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